This is a guest post by a social work manager who wishes to remain anonymous. It responds to an article by journalist and Transparency Project member Louise Tickle which appeared in the Guardian last week :
Why do we separate the mother and child victims of domestic abuse?
Louise Tickle’s Guardian article opened with an acknowledgment of the clear risks posed by domestic abuse, not only for the direct victims, but for the children witnessing, experiencing, living with domestic abuse.
As a team manager in a frontline social work team, I am dealing every single day with referrals from schools, police, neighbours, family members, all worried about young children having to live with the effects of domestic abuse.
Schools report children who cannot cope in school due to being so worried about their mum getting hurt. Police report children distressed at the sight of their visibly hurt mother having a visit from police officers again, or somehow worse, children who seem to react to the sight of blood and violence in the home as if it is normal. Neighbours report hearing shouting, hitting, screaming through the walls every night keeping them awake, never mind the child who is in the next room. Family members – grandparents, aunts and uncles – report no longer seeing their young relatives, who’ve been hidden away from them as the abusive partner asserts his grip on the mother, isolating her from her support network, and removing a vital source of love and protection from the children.
For social workers, this is the everyday. For victims of domestic abuse, this is the lives they lead. Every victim of domestic abuse wants it to stop. Every parent who is a victim of domestic abuse wants it to stop so their children can live without distress, worry and fear. The social workers, too, want it to stop so that children can stay safely with their birth parents. There is a collective desire for the violence to end – but where matters diverge is often over what happens when the it continues.
Louise argues that we will ‘never effectively protect children if we view the prevention of harm from domestic abuse as the victim’s job’. She says that the expectation of mothers to ‘protect’ their child, and then to remove their child from them when they can’t do this, is the ‘ultimate in victim-blaming’.
I have taken the decision to ask the court to remove children from mothers who are unable to keep their children safe from the risks of domestic abuse. I have asked the court to do this when these mothers can meet their children’s needs in every other area – they are doing a good job as a mum, except that they cannot keep their children safe.
It is an awful thing to do. It compounds the harm: the mother, already physically (and psychologically) battered from the abuse from her partner, now has the added harm and trauma of losing her child at the hands of social workers. And yet – as I’ve sat thinking about this blog – I still look back on these decisions and find myself justifying each and every one as necessary in order to protect the children.
It’s important to say here, that each decision is taken only after painstaking efforts are made to bring about change. Where the risk is manageable, we will work with fathers (or stepfathers) to bring about changes to their behaviour. They are the ones at fault. It’s their behaviour that ultimately needs to alter. I could recite numerous examples where men with histories of violence have made changes which mean that they are able to safely play a role in their children’s lives. Situations where men realise the impact of their behaviour and decide that within the relationship with the mother their behaviour poses an unacceptable risk, but that they can play a role in their children’s lives in a different way.
But there are too many cases where the level of risk, and the level of violence perpetrated makes this impossible. Where any safety plans that are put in mean that the risk to the children becomes unacceptable for us as a social work team to handle. Men whose violence involves firearms, kidnapping, use of weapons, or dangerous dogs. Or where the violence is unabating – the perpetrator refuses to leave the victim alone, refuses to stop battering her.
There are cases whereby the physical violence is hidden, or where the behaviours of the perpetrator can be emotionally abusive or controlling. These are far less likely to result in the removal of children from the home. Speaking from personal experience, I cannot recall a case where I’ve taken a decision – either as a social worker, or a manager – to ask the court to remove a child from his or her mother on the grounds of a controlling, coercive or emotionally abusive relationship, in the absence of there being any physical abuse. This is a somewhat disturbing trend, as it suggests that emotional abuse within a relationship is somehow ‘less’ damaging than physical harm. But it reflects a reality about the worries of social workers and the courts around children’s physical and emotional safety in cases of extreme violence, and also a reluctance to separate parents from their children, except in the most extreme circumstances.
There is a clear lack of resources. It is galling to see refuges closing down, domestic abuse support dwindling, Independent Domestic Violence Advisers entirely removed in some areas. All of this leaves women more vulnerable, less well-informed about the support and risks to them, and more at risk from ongoing abuse. But we work hard, even in this barren landscape of support, to ensure that women do have options – not always good options, or easy options, but options nonetheless.
A recent example: a mother began a relationship with a violent man. She didn’t have social services on her doorstep until she met him. But such was his history – of kidnapping women, threatening adults with guns, beating up partners and members of the public – that in order to protect her child, she was essentially given an ultimatum. Leave him, or lose your child. And it was put to her starkly. There were options – refuges, family members – but these options fail to allow for the nature of domestic abuse and how it traps the women in relationships. I know that this means women often feel unable to take advantage of these less than ideal options.
In another recent case, a mother was in a violent relationship with a man who was in prison. She was pregnant. He had been to prison multiple times such was the level of his violence. I felt we had given her every chance to decide to end this relationship, but she made the decision to continue within it. I told her that we would be asking the court to remove the baby from her when it was born, as the risk posed by the man was such that the baby would not be safe.
I felt that I had no choice. There was, in that case, no alternative. To leave children at home in these circumstances, would be to fail those children, to leave them at terrible risk.
It’s an indictment of our society that women have to suffer this. But having read Louise’s article, and now having spent time over recent days giving this response some thought, my overwhelming feel is one of sadness and frustration. Children are not best served by being removed from their birth parents. But I do feel that there are occasions when the risks around domestic abuse demands it. We could always do more to temper our language, to make sure that we do not make the mother feel like a ‘failure’, that she has ‘failed to protect’. There is so much more that we can do differently in how we engage with victims of domestic abuse. There is so much more that government, police and local authorities can do in the service they offer these victims.
But while I am in agreement with Louise’s assertions around the inherent injustice of a society where victims of violence lose their children, I can’t conclude that this injustice comes at the hands of social workers. How we as a society shift the balance, I do not know. Long-term incarceration of the perpetrators is an obvious answer in order to safeguard victims and children – and would undoubtedly result in fewer children being removed from their mothers. More is needed from the criminal justice system in terms of protections for victims, and the ability to keep men away from the women they hurt. Again, the answers aren’t easy: longer prison sentences having their own societal drawbacks, and the bar for prosecution is high in order to prevent miscarriages of justice.
Whatever the answer though, the plight of the women and children who experience abuse, loss and separation means that we owe it as a society to think harder about how we work differently with domestic abuse perpetrators, victims and their families.
This article should be corrected to read: “How do SOME social workers approach domestic abuse?”
Across the UK, illogically, there is quite some variation as to thresholds – otherwise there wouldn’t be according variation between LAs with adoption and care order statistics. There are decent social workers but also plenty of rotten apples in the barrel, who operate in a parent-blame culture and don’t want to admit any positives about parents. Worse, there are many who outright lie.
“Neighbours report hearing …hitting”
How on earth can you hear someone being hit. It would not make a noise through the wall. What would make a noise is someone being thrown into a solid object, a solid object being kicked or having something thrown at it. You simply would not hear hand on flesh through a wall. So is this intentionally sensationalised?
“The social workers, too, want it to stop so that children can stay safely with their birth parents.”
SOME, not all, there are those who don’t give mothers a chance.
“as I’ve sat thinking about this blog – I still look back on these decisions and find myself justifying each and every one as necessary in order to protect the children.”
Did you ever ask the children? I am sure most if not all, would rather stay with their mother and witness things they don’t want to witness, than be taken from their mother forever. Get the abusers arrested and served with injunctions, don’t take the children. Social services and police work closely together when it comes to Section 47s so there is no excuse.
” Men whose violence involves firearms, kidnapping, use of weapons, or dangerous dogs. Or where the violence is unabating – the perpetrator refuses to leave the victim alone, refuses to stop battering her. ”
They should be in prison. You don’t take the children! This whole article is just one excuse after another. Of course the children deserve not to see their mother beaten, but you don’t multiply the victims by taking children away from someone they love almost more than life itself!
“… a reluctance to separate parents from their children, except in the most extreme circumstances.”
Except this is not the case so many times. Children are taken for future risk of emotional harm even where none has occurred, babies are taken at birth without giving the mother a chance to prove her parenting, children with neurodevelopmental disabilities are taken because social workers are clueless about their behaviours being a normal part of their condition, children are taken because social workers are unqualified to understand invisible disabilities and again, falsely accuse parents. Parents are falsely accused and lose their children all the time.
“I can’t conclude that this injustice comes at the hands of social workers”
That’s frankly a ridiculous statement. It’s social workers that pass judgement on parents, it’s social workers who write reports that in many cases are full of distortions, omissions and even lies, it’s social workers who make the case for the judge to decide on.
You pass blame onto closing refuges and the rest, without taking any responsibility for the very major role you play in ripping children away from their mothers. You can excuse it all you like, it doesn’t make it true. By your own admission you are the one asking the courts to remove children, I doubt this has ever been refused by the court. You are the large cog driving a machine that is destroying lives and yet don’t take any responsibility, you shift blame elsewhere as if you are helpless to stop the machine. You aren’t. The DfE admits that LAs set their own local guidances, as a social work manager you should be doing all you can to change the culture and push for change, not pretending you are helplessly dragged along in it.
Well put EJ , as a SW I’ve worked with families who have come to me on the edge of proceedings to remive their children due to DV, with close working and creative thinking we came up with a unique plan which seemed risky but was right for the family and worked. Too often once families are on the safeguarding train there’s only one direction SWs are going..
Good to hear there are alternatives Tina. Good to know there are some social workers who are proactive and have the right target in mind. Defeatism, protecting backs, treating children as a wholly separate entity from their parents and parent-blame will never work for families, least of all the children.
I am the author the blog – I acknowledge the criticism of the opening commenter, around how this blog somehow seeking to justify the decisions I have taken. And you’re right, I can’t speak for all social workers, and managers.
However, like Tina, I have used creative, risky planning in order to avoid care proceedings. I’m describing those cases where this hasn’t been successful.
EJ- you seem I’m not taking responsibility for my role ripping children from their mothers. I absolutely am. I said clearly that this is my decision to ask for removal. I take responsibility for that. I hate the fact that men with long histories of violence, firearms, weapons offences, assaults around children are free to continue abuse – but they are. The criminal justice system does not see them locked away indefinitely and prosecutions are hard. We can, as a society, push for changes in law and DV prosecution thresholds lowered, but until then, until the men can be forcibly removed, these decisions will keep on being taken.
Also – my decisions aren’t perfect (as you’d definitely agree given you criticisms!). And so the court do disagree sometimes- it isn’t a fait accomplit. SWs do have power in the court arena – but it is not without challenge from the courts.
@ SW Manager
“Not Without challenge from the Courts” lol!!
That’s a joke, when you realise that in one year, only 0.27% of applications for removal were refused by Judges.
They eat out of your hands and you know it, wether you admit it or not.
You’re all one big team, Social Workers, Cafcass, Child Protection Officers, your ‘Professional Witness Experts, even many defence solicitors, all arraigned against the family with the only goal of taking their children.
It’s all SO easy for you.
where does your 0.27% statistic come from Jay Kaye?
Hi I need a sw like you my sw is doing nothing to help us at all and our family has been damaged
Very well put EJ.
My experience is not ‘removal is the last resort’. It is a game. Even if the parents separate, that doesn’t change the situation enough. ‘Oh, well, you can supervise contact.’ ‘Define ‘supervise’ for me?’ ‘Oh, that’s your problem to understand. But if you understand it wrong, we are taking your children.’
The number of false Section 7/47 reports I have read that are inaccurate (or at least taken comments out of context); well, I have lost count. The number of ‘contact recordings’ that I have read that are similar are even worse. (And the best part is parents normally get them during proceedings or afterwards; so not enough time to challenge.)
So yes, secret social worker, my first reaction to your guest piece was ‘What a self serving, self justifying, ‘nothing is my responsibility’, ‘this is how I justify passing the buck’, let’s see how many other people I can blame instead of myself thought. I also thought ‘This was written by a social worker all over it.’
TC
Here here…….just another cold Social worker justifying legal abuse. I wonder if she has children. How about putting her in the situation of being on the receiving end. Welcome to the hell you inflict on us!
You can not hide behind society. You are careless and cruel beings. Children are scared for life by your wrongdoings. Don’t ease your burden by passing blame. Also, done lord your power…..you corrupt lot of [edited].
“But while I am in agreement with Louise’s assertions around the inherent injustice of a society where victims of violence lose their children, I can’t conclude that this injustice comes at the hands of social workers.” Oh it does – but as a profession and a system you wilfully ignore the voices of adult adoptees who are speaking up increasingly about how their human rights are abused by adoption itself. You take part in our abuse by enacting a system of commoditisation, trading and taking over of our identities, heritage and family relationships, to save the State the cost of providing care to our traumatised families and to provide income to care and adoption agencies. You know adoption harms children too, and yet you carry on and on.
It is clear that many Social Workers and Experts who operate in the Family Safeguarding and Court systems simply do not have enough training to understand the severe impact of long-term coercive and controlling behaviour a) as a form of Domestic Abuse in the first instance; and b) on the victims psychological state which so disempowers a victim – often leaving victim parents believing the fault is with them because that’s what they are being told by the perpetrator, or uneducated SW’s, whilst the victim, misunderstood and confused remains desperate in trying to survive often the ongoing situations of such coercion and harassment. The ongoing DA can be seen in many subtle ways (or perhaps more obvious ones) but services simply do not appear to recognise patterns and tend to look, even now at isolated incidents if at all. Victims are left in fear of being told they are creating parental alienation from the perpetrator if they are not seen to be encouraging contact or even dare to try and talk about the issues of DA from the perpetrator, the coercive tie into the relationship with perpetrators during assessments of SW interventions is often completely missed or minimised away because longer-term patterns are not considered (and here is the error with the Scott Schedule Type Fact Find when coercive abuse is present – it does not work because it cannot work to expose that level of DA). Perpetrators who operate with coercion and emotional/psychological control are clever. They can lie and their lies can become fabric of fact so easily in the current system that seeds of mistruths can be planted and then repeated as fact, distorting views of experts and the Court without ever giving the victim parent a voice. It has happened. These perpetrators are concerned about how they look to the outside world and the rules of normal behaviour don’t apply – that confuses victims even further who operate on a basis which often does not recognise how these perpetrators work by the very nature of the coercive abuse – victims may be relieved when a perpetrator suddenly engages in parenting and discussion, or appears supportive to the victim when for years they may have been derisory or abusive and victims of coercion and control believe they have changed and a drawn back into a cycle of abuse which cannot be seen, so by such ongoing abuse, the victims fail to even raise issues which they have otherwise tried to raise beforehand, believing that the perpetrator has changed. The cycle of coercion and control, and harassment between parents, and the impact of the victim engaging with support services whilst being abused is one of the most misunderstood and dangerous of all situations for the children. These are children who have seen bad behaviour from the perpetrator, felt afraid by their direct experiences and yet, in some cases a view is formed that these children have been alienated by the victim, towards the perpetrator and severe emotional harm caused, yet the underlying issue of the Domestic Abuse by way of psychological means and the impact on parenting in that situation is completely ignored. How many children have been removed from parents because of this silent, pattern based form of Domestic Abuse/Harassment not being recognised because of the way in which Fact Finds operate or victims being so abused during their involvement with services whilst skilled perpetrators turn on the charm and confused the victims further, saying the right things and the right time and making their victims appear uncredible, by their erratic presentation or by the utter confusion that the perpetrator has caused. Woe is the Expert in Court who does not ask the children why or give weight to the worried they have when with both parents. These are children who had seen and probably normalised the abuse they and the victim parent has had over many months or years to survive in the family unit. Parents who claim parental alienation should be closely considered as to how they operate on a psychological level – that claim can be a wonderful took the armour of a dangerous Domestic Abuser who knows how to manipulate and control the victim into silence and submission, at whatever cost to the present and longer term safety of the children. MORE TRAINING FOR FRONT LINE SERVICES AND AMENDMENTS TO THE FC SYSTEM SO THAT COERCIVE CONTROL AS A FORM OF DA IS ADDRESSED DIFFERENTLY WITH FACTFINDS.
who know exactly how to bring uneducated and over-worked SW’s and Experts into their narrative. Unfortunately, the failure to establish fact in many cases and rely on the parent who performs better in the snapshot moments of contact with services and Court can paint an increasingly frightening picture for a victim parent as they feel more and more isolated from anyone and become often confused and frightened, placed in further trauma, and when paired with their sense of failure and disempowerment already due to the type of DA they are experiencing, often
ip them looking as a perpetrator of emptinal harm as they try to protect children, and normalise harm from the real perpetrator as a strategy to keep the children safer.
sorry but social workers aren’t trained enough in regards to domestic abuse. it all goes in a circle police pass it on to the social and then they pass it on to different resources and perpetrators aren’t punished or held accountable by social services. it’s all a load of bull and contradictive.
@Lawyer, Mother, Victim of CC/DA, children removed and placed with perpetrators. You wrote your comment in 2018. You are speaking my experience this week in FC (June 2020). Scott Schedule is no good to assess Domestic Abuse. What is being done about this?
The anonymous social worker suggests that if victims were able to escape from their tormentors they would be able to keep their children. This being the case could she please explain why an abusive relationship which finished years before the birth of children can be used as a social workers justification to remove them?
Hannah,
We can’t speak about individual cases, but in our experience a historic abusive relationship would usually only still be relevant if a parent was continuing or reverting to similar relationships and exposing the children to similar sorts of risk – i.e. as evidence of an entrenched pattern. If there is clear blue water between an unhealthy abusive relationship and the current situation there would be good arguments for saying that is not a good reasons to remove a child.
Hi Hannah, I am the author of the blog.
Did I imply that a relationship finished years earlier would justify removal?
That certainly isn’t what I believe – it wouldn’t justify any form of immediate or ongoing harm, at least in the terms you’ve put.
Also I agree with EJ! Social lie so much and make us parents feel like rubbish! They lie to get there own way!! It’s disgusting and absurd that its allowed and so many organisations work with them too to take children away from loving mothers! This is what’s happening to me. What a world! -.-
I was rehoused to escape DV by the very same council who over a year later claimed that the DV had effected my parenting and therefore the child should be placed with the perpetrator. They claimed this because a GPs letter my solicitor had asked me to get listing the effects of DV in order to claim legal aid to divorce my husband mentioned panic attacks and anxiety. Please don’t tell me that this does not happen as plainly, it does.
“There are cases whereby the physical violence is hidden, or where the behaviours of the perpetrator can be emotionally abusive or controlling. These are far less likely to result in the removal of children from the home. Speaking from personal experience, I cannot recall a case where I’ve taken a decision – either as a social worker, or a manager – to ask the court to remove a child from his or her mother on the grounds of a controlling, coercive or emotionally abusive relationship, in the absence of there being any physical abuse. This is a somewhat disturbing trend, as it suggests that emotional abuse within a relationship is somehow ‘less’ damaging than physical harm. But it reflects a reality about the worries of social workers and the courts around children’s physical and emotional safety in cases of extreme violence, and also a reluctance to separate parents from their children, except in the most extreme circumstances.”
Domestic abuse is characterised by perpetrators who use their power & control, so any physical abuse must be recognised as the tip of the iceberg when it manifests itself. It did not happen in isolation, there was a build up, and that would have coercive.
Perhaps the place to start is before anyone gets into any relationships, consent is being discussed in schools at quite a young age, healthy and safe relationships don’t need an alarming delivery to ensure children and young people know the warning signs & are v clear about what is considered abusive behaviour.
It won’t prevent all DA, and I agree that courts need to address the issues more robustly at times, but long term incarceration is not the answer. You can’t lock people up forever, so whilst those children in that family might be safe, the next family are not.
Hello SW manager. I am involved in trying to make sense of how a parent could have been better helped/understood in just the sort of situation you have written about where children have been seriously harmed. I would value the opportunity to talk to you about how social workers can both protect children and be fair to the parent . Is there a way we could have an individual conversation? I can of course provide more information about my role and purpose in contacting you.
Just looking abit of advice.. basically ling story short…Ex partner was having a conversation with her Bestie at some group thing in which someone over heard an reported her to ss as me myself has been struggling due to mental illness which I am thankfully finally getting the right help.. My ex has 3 kids an they go to their dads 3 days a week. So I flipped just shouting an i punched a wall. Regret set in straight away, anyhow the kids where not present at the time they where at their dads therefore they did not hear nor see anything an the SW went to now my ex an told her if shed lose her kids if she had contact with me or if we were to get back together. Her options leave me and keep kids or dont an lose the kids. I just cant seem to get my head around it. Yes my behaviour was disgusting an Im getting help for but how can SS tell my ex shes to leave me when no1 has been harmed an we both want to be in a r/s.
Any advice, input or anything will be greatly appericiated.
Thanks.
Hi S,
I’m afraid we don’t give legal advice via this site. If you are getting help now that seems like a good place to start. It might be worth having a discussion with the social workers to see what they would expect from you in order to reassure them the children will be safe with you in the home.
Lucy
Too many social workers as judge, jury and executioner. They assume the person making accusations is telling the truth. When the accused isn’t spoken to and has evidence the person is lying they don’t want to listen. To lose access to children when woman lies is disgusting. The person hurting the children was the mother and the father isn’t believed. I don’t trust a signal person in social services because it is too female biased. I was the victim but my side was never sought. I guess in this world we live in we have accept the fact it’s ok for male victims to lose their children as it’s only women that are victims and care about children.
That blog discussed me my family are going thought the same thing my social worker has offered no real surport for my family and is making my partner out to be evil we have problems with domestic abuse when my partner mixes his drink witch is not very not every day is once in a blue moon and instead of getting on a peratators course she has managed to poison everyone and has had my kicked out our family my kids are heartbroken all they have ever known is myself and there dad he is not a bad man and no real risk to myself or our babys but my evil social worker has used all the terrible things that’s happened to him like [edited to avoid identification] witch coursed metal health was no support but in place for that all we have ever had is you need to sort your own problems out. She seems to think our kids are hers she talk about them in a professional way my advice is never trust any social worker they tear familys apart with out even helping them first makes me sick
My children have been removed and placed under a sgo, me and there father had a few issues and they removed the children stating I had prioritised him over my own children, absurd! As a couple we had been through alot together, one of our sons passed away at only seven weeks old not long ago! Which we didnt even receive any proper support from our social worker, however fast forward abit, they are now saying my children wont be returned to me and deeming me to be mentally unstable O.o
MADNESS! I’m going to be appealing for courts to end the sgo but feel I’m gonna get no where as la never believe a word I say nor listen to me! I miss my children like mad, my youngest daughter has just turned one! My sons are growing so much every day, I’m missing it all, I feel like I’m being punished and painted as a bad parent! I’ve always loved my children and they have always been put first. I search internet all day, everyday for advice, I’m a broken mother
Hi
I and my children have been on the receiving end of domestic violence.
My son has a severe disability.
Often perpetrators enjoy this extra added vulnerability for a mother.
My daughter used to literally be beaten by her father and my son s social services LD team were fully aware and turned a blind eye to what he was doing . He also turned on me.
My daughter was never spoken to while still underage and when I asked for support for my son when leaving him I was firmly told NO
The abuse caused severe trauma to my daughter who has recently ended her life.
My son s needs are quite high. He is being refused residential schooling and I have been told that no Overnight respite will ever be provided to him. I am forced into coparenting with the father and then I am also being told that I have agreed to coparenting arrangements
(As limited support is being given) which then results in further controlling behaviour with a disabled child in the midst!
Domestic violence with disabled children in the family comes with its own challenges and it often feels that siblings and mothers are expected to live like that. So this is a different take on DV
I have an inquest coming up for my daughter and I am convinced that I will get the blame for everything and children services will manipulate their way out of getting the blame
Hi Anonymous, we can’t advise you I’m afraid but you may able to get some support from the charity Inquest – https://www.inquest.org.uk/ if your daughter’s death was related to statutory services your son was receiving (or should have been).
Being one of those accused of DV I have been ignored threaten and manipulates by the LA and they provided no support.
I have needed help and during the PA was told I was doing brilliantly only for it to be summarised as a failure.
My partner and I have to talk in secret now as I’ve been told I can no longer speak to her or my family so I have lost all support networks I did have. We do love each other and we have both learnt that we will do anything to be together.
The SW and her manager were made aware of complaints I had about the procedures taken as I was not involved within the Pre birth.
We want to have a normal family and we are willing to participate in any form of programme.
However because she was told by her legal team that with me we would never get the children back she decided to do a single rather than joint assessment…
Is this not emotional and legal abuse of power.
Funded by an LA who have no care in the world to support the Middle class work male doing the best he possibly can.
I also was in the system myself which makes it even harder as my voice has never been listened to.
Hi, I am a student social worker finishing my first year and can agree that so far we have not been taught enough specifically about domestic abuse. However, we are all studying a degree where we are expected to do a certain amount of independent study which majority for the field that they wish to pursue but despite that some unfortunately don’t. But you are always going to get the bad ones in every profession. However, it is very interesting reading everyone’s experiences both as survivors and as social workers as this has given me a good broad understanding. Though I know unfortunately it is not always black and white and the case can seem different depending on the angle that you look on it but reading everyone’s stories has illustrated that every case is still a family no matter how complicated or bias it seems so thank you everyone for sharing your stories!
I am also a social work student, nearly at the end of my studies and am planning to do my dissertation on this very topic so it has been very interesting to read everyone’s point of views, so thankyou.
It is very true that there are some social workers that are better than others, although only qualifying in the near future, I have worked in children’s services for 7 years. I also have personal experience of the topic as my mum experienced DA when I was a child and I remember the fear and upset this caused me, which still affects me long into my adulthood. Granted the fear and upset would have been even more vivid had I been removed from my mum, who thankfully managed to leave the perp, however I do have to question what my life would have been like if she hadn’t managed to leave, given that the short months that my mum was with him have negatively impacted on me.
I know the kind of social worker I want to be and I not going into the profession with my child snatcher net as many people would believe. The reason I am exploring this topic further is because I do think more work needs to be done to support mothers and of course other victims of DA. I also think social workers need to be aware of the effect that DA can have on people and how best to support this.
Of course it would be great if the criminal justice protected victims, however it is my experience that this is not always the case. I have seen perps being arrested time and time again for approaching their victims, they get arrested, they get released, honestly, this goes on and on. Then prison sentences are often short which means that the perp is not entitled to any rehab work, so they come out unchanged.
Social workers get the blame when they have not done enough and the blame for when they are seen to be acting too quickly. It’s an extremely fine line to balance.
One last point….in my opinion and experience, courts are by no means eating out of social workers hands, quite the opposite, I have seen Sheriffs go against many recommendations, and I have seen social workers being grilled (none of which are bad, I’m just saying that we definitely aren’t all in it together!) It is never just the social workers decision to remove a child, it is usually a multi-agency decision that needs to be justified time and time again (again, this is a good thing as such an impactful decision must be justified). Then the decision is over to the courts. I have also been on the receiving end of pretty derogative questions from parent’s Solicitors, some (not all) of which can be unprofessional and rude; again, you get this in every job, there are also some very good, fair Solicitors.
I am going into this profession with my eyes wide open, it’s horrible to read that some people think so little about a job I have worked in/towards for so many years but I knew this was the case before starting this. Don’t let a few bad apples form a blanket opinion of a profession, the same way I can’t judge every referral I receive in the same way.