This is a guest post from Dr Charlotte Proudman. Charlotte is a family law barrister at Goldsmith Chambers specialising in violence against women and girls. She tweets as @DrProudman.
On 21 June 2019, the Ministry of Justice (MOJ) announcedthe identity of the panel of professionals that would be reviewing evidence on how the family courts can better protect children and parents in cases of domestic abuse and other serious offences. This follows the announcement on 21 May 2019 that the MOJ intend to make a public call for evidence over a short three-month period. The panel comprises of organisations and professionals working in the area of family justice. The panel does not include victims of domestic abuse that have been through the process, instead they remain marginalised and distanced from the decision-making process, which is likely to involve key recommendations for reform. The MOJ’s focus on family courts and domestic abuse has been long-awaited.
Parents often agree contact post-breakdown of their relationship. In contact cases that come before the family courts, the majority appear to result in acrimony stemming from family abuse in which a parent (usually a mother) contends that they are refusing contact with the other parent due to safeguarding concerns for the child. As a family law barrister, I regularly witness the family court’s mishandling of domestic abuse in children cases. When I first commenced practice, I was surprised to learn of the court’s approach in either dismissing or reducing the significance of allegations of domestic abuse within the family household. I have heard judges refer to domestic abuse as “just a bit of DV” and watched as judges put the allegations of domestic abuse to one side, stating that they are irrelevant because several months or years have passed since the last allegation was made – or that the children did not directly witness their father batter their mother thereby rendering the allegations ‘irrelevant’. Courts struggle to acknowledge the impact of domestic violence upon children. The Royal College of Psychiatristsnotes that children who have witnessed violence and abuse are more likely to become involved in violent and abusive relationship as adults. Children tend to copy the behaviour of their parents. Girls learn that violence is expected and boys learn that violence can be perpetrated against women without consequences.
I am often bemused by family court’s decision making in cases where there is an overlap between potential care proceedings and private law children proceedings. For example, Childrens’ Services intervene due to escalating violence in the household and to the mother’s credit she leaves the father to protect the children before they are put into state care. The father then makes an application to the family court to spend time with the children. In these circumstances, I have seen family courts order contact between children and fathers regardless of ‘historic’ abuse on the basis that the relationship with the mother has ended and therefore the volatile home dynamic has changed. There is no recognition that the father’s anger and violence is likely to manifest itself in other ways, leaving the children at risk. In many respects the mother is viewed as ‘the problem’ as her position in the family home is perceived as the core motivation for the violence. In the most tragic cases, children have been murdered by their fathers after the court has ordered contact. In these cases, there is no direct redress available: principles of judicial independence make it difficult for judges to directly participate in serious case reviews in the way that organisations such as Cafcass or Childrens’ Services can be. Lessons need to be learned to prevent such situations arising in the future.
Of course, there is another side to the story. Fathers often argue that the mother’s allegations are untrue or the mother is complicit in the family abuse. Fathers often contend that mothers are seeking to alienate the children from them. Parental alienation is a term that has gained traction in children proceedings over recent years. There appears to be scant scientific research into parental alienation yet it is bandied about in the family courts to attempt to explain why a mother persists in making unfounded allegations of domestic abuse against a father. In many cases, it can appear preposterous to suggest that a mother is making unfounded allegations of domestic abuse to reduce the time that the child spends with the father. In reality, this means the mother subjecting herself to extensive court hearings over the course of months if not years, significant cost incurred in lawyer’s fees, professional’s involvement in the children’s lives and the pain of experiencing gruelling cross-examination. Only in a minority of cases are allegations sadly fictitious.
Practice Direction 12J is supposed to be invoked by family courts when there are allegations of domestic abuse in children proceedings. I have only seen family judges acknowledge PD 12J in a handful of cases over the years. I have seen mothers pressurised into ‘agreeing’ contact that they know the judge will order anyway. I have seen a judge disregard a CAFCASS Officer’s report documenting a mother’s allegations of a father’s controlling behaviour then refusing to list a fact-finding hearing when one was warranted. I have seen judges specifically requiring a mother to conduct handovers directly with an abusive father notwithstanding the mother indicating that she was terrified of doing so.
The Victoria Derbyshire show on BBC 2 on 15 May 2019 brought together a wide range of key players, including those who have long been involved in the campaign against family courts ordering contact as a matter of course when there are allegations of domestic abuse. I spoke about having watched abused mothers sat shaking outside of court, fearing confronting their abuser. In my experience special measures such as a screen are a rarity. A report published by Women’s Aidmade a compelling argument that the court has legitimated the power abusers have over victims in children proceedings. Louise Haigh MP spoke about her campaign to open up the family courts to public scrutiny. Over 120 MPs signed an open letter to the Government led by Louise Haigh MP to ban abusers from having contact with their children. Meanwhile, Jess Phillips MP proposed that there is a presumption of no contact where there is found to have been domestic abuse in the family. Given the overwhelming impact of domestic abuse on children’s lives, this could be a viable proposal. If perpetrators accept findings of domestic abuse, they could be given the opportunity to undergo intensive therapy or a perpetrator’s intervention programme for example, to evidence meaningful change.
A group of 30 family lawyers and victims’ representatives have called for an independent inquiry into the failures by the family courts to deal with domestic abuse. I, along with Dame Vera Baird QC, Cris McCurley of Ben Hoare Bell and Jenny Beck of Beck Fitzgerald (amongst others) wrote to the Justice Secretary, David Gauke, urging him to upgrade the review announced by the MOJ. As stated in the letter,
“Practice direction 12J is often ignored or ‘nodded through’ without any proper risk assessment, leaving women and children vulnerable. Where a fact-finding hearing is listed, the victim is increasingly being told to limit the number of allegations that can be considered by the judge, meaning that there is not a full forensic and expert assessment of the risks. The impact of coercive control, emotional abuse, economic abuse and other forms of non-physical violence are routinely overlooked. Twelve weeks is not enough time to properly evaluate the reasons why the system is currently placing children and victims at unacceptable risk. Any inquiry must be independent if justice is to be seen to be done.”
The letter proposes twelve possible improvements to the family justice system. In my view the following four proposals are the most important:
First, the introduction of a triaging system of domestic abuse cases, which means that domestic abuse would be flagged as an issue within cases and then such cases would be dealt with by independent bodies that are qualified in identifying abuse and trained to deal with victims and perpetrators.
Second, legal aid for both parties ought to be available until the conclusion of the hearing.
Third, better training for the judiciary about domestic abuse – including coercive control, which is often minimised.
Finally, more support needs to be available for those alleging abuse at court, this includes separate entrances and waiting rooms, and a screen inside the court room.
There is scant information about what the actual remit of the panel will be, although a sketch of the focus of the panel is contained in the original announcement (see here). What is clear, is that there needs to be an overhaul in the way family courts deal with cases of domestic abuse, because when contact is ordered without a thorough investigation and safeguards in place children are left at risk of harm. The attitudes I have seen to be prevalent in the family courts demean the significance of domestic abuse and are woefully out of step with modern day society. Change is needed now.
Ed : We’ve got some other posts on this topic coming up soon. Watch this space…
Update : You can now read other posts on this topic by our chair here, and by Bob Greig (onlydads) here.
I am a doctor and I am training to be a paediatrician. I am currently going through the family court system and I am unable to protect my own children. I feel this court system is failing my children, failing our family as a whole including my husband. There is a significant lack of understanding of child abuse, domesticviolece, mental health and substance abuse and how this impacts on children.
Hi there, I’m so sorry to hear of your experiences. Given you are currently going through court, I have changed your name on your comment to protect yours and your children’s identities. Annie
I am currently going through child court I am a victim of domestic abuse. The court has not supported my child at all throughout the process they focused on previous incidents rather than the current abuse on going cafcas are suppose to be involved making a report yet I have still not heard off them. I want to protect my child. I’m dammed if I dont send him but it’s got to the point the can be no point of contact on handover as my ex cannot control his self no one seems to be doing anything as regards to the court I’m increasingly worried about the emotional and psychological impact this is having on my son who is 18 months old and we still havnt had a final order I’m trying my hardest to be amicable but the safety of my son is paramount and the welfare of him and no one seems to be taking any notice. Including the authorities.
I’m still going through court prosedings trying to fight to get my children home as I was a victim of domestic violence and social services took my children even though I kept them safe . Now all of my children are in foster care but been separated from each other my youngest son who is 4 is now adopted,my oldest son was placed under a special guardian ship with my cousin but that didn’t work out cos his now had 4 potential brake downs he has complex needs my cousin who did have him stoped our contact stating I didn’t make enough effort but I made lots of effort when it came to my son .and now my children are suffering I have been treated unfairly they used my learning difficulties against me in court even though my learning difficulties don’t effect me .so far the courts won’t let me have my children back cos apparently I’m lacking parenting but I’m doing everything they ask off me but it’s still not good enough.i just want to go back to my happy self again but it’s never gonna happen cos the whole system is curopted.
Hi, because you’re still going through proceedings I’ve edited your name to protect your identity and that of your children. Annie
I allowed my ex to see our teen as long as he didn’t have him around a certain person in my ex family whom my child said inappropriate behaviour happened (child was then 3years old and the family member an adult) I myself had witnessed inappropriate behaviour so I took this seriously. On one of the visits, the ex locked our son in a house with the said historic abuse person and said that he would let him out if I talked about ‘us’ he laughed at my fear. Police were called and found the ex was playing games as the officer put it. Terrified of my son being in danger I stopped contact hoping that court would protect him.
No such luck, now I’m trembling as I face another hearing today. My ex dights in lying and calling my mentally unstable, lies and all of a sudden I’m an unfit parent. In the background our child was suicidal from seeing his father, I was stalked, slander campaign set up, he’s trying to drain any little money I have by leaving me in debt and now running up more debt and refusing to sign a clean break (no assets).I wanted to protect my son, I cannot. Social services ignore his temper and tell me to forget that he stalked me only last week, for the sake of our child. Our child’s a teen yet my ex insists on seeing me to drop him off and pick him up, I refuse to due to past aggression, threats and false accusations. I’d be physically sick. Oh it turned out he has a history of violence and dom abuse before our 16 year relationship. I had depression years ago as I repeatedly tried to leave the abuse, this depression is used in his favour regardless of this being years ago
Despite been awarded legsl aid for the past 3 sets of proceedings the attack my ex partner did is not being acknowledged in any social services reports or by the Judge. My expartner continues to isoalte and stop contact between myself and my son and yet despite presenting the significant and evidenced breaches the Judge did not consider them. My mental health instead has been made centre-stage (again) despite suffering significant coercively controlling behaviours by my expartner that again, the Judge would not consider. My son has been separated from me for nearly 2 years and has disclosed abusive behaviours from his dad and new partner but nobody is listening to him or me. I am devastated on a daily basis at not being able to protect my child from this horrendous existence and have been misrepresented by the legal profession in all areas. If anyone has the name of a lawyer who can present my case I would be grateful. I have evidence of everything but mine and my son’s voice is not being heard.
So domestic violence is only fathers battering mothers? You’re clearly not biassed then.
I am personally familiar with cases where the mother was violent and the father was the victim. I am also aware of very many cases where the child is the victim of the mother’s violence or abuse. Physical violence and abuse against children is perpetrated almost equally by mothers and fathers, but according to the NSPCC, it’s actually mothers who engage in violence against their children more. But in your extensive experience, you’ve clearly never recognised this.
It’s not people’s opinion that the majority of DV is carried out by men. Women were the victims of 73% of domestic violence cases with 81% of these the offender was male. Please read the research that’s out there.
Abuse against children and domestic violence cannot be argued using the same principles.
Can you quote the source for these figures please?
What are the sources of this research?
Who did this research, where there conflicts of interest and when was it published?
It is very unhelpful to simply write read the research and then not quoting any….
head to the AIFS (Australian institute of family studies). these statistic are very real. The cases of female conflicted violence are an extreme minority. they do occur, but nowhere near the rate of intimate partner violence perpetrated by males. Women are dying at the hands of their partners. wake up, stop being ignorant its a serious problem.
As a person having undergone mental and psychological abuse and also having been render powerless by the courts to protect myself as well as having to witness the constant putting in danger of our child for the rest of my life Because of my gender and because of prejudices against mothers in general, I find myself Dismissed and further abused by your comment because it Dismissed my experience and gives the focus to a prejudice that will help further abuse me in the future. The article does not dismiss the cases of fathers being subjected to domestic abuse which I believe Are present as well. I do not believe this Domestic abuse issue is a matter of gender. Anyone can experience it but I do believe the proportionality is That of more women experiencing domestic abuse because men are helped and protected by the system and this is the real issue. Would proper assessment been done into domestic abuse cases it would come to light if the mother/father has made false allegation or if the mother/father has actually indeed suffer at the hands of this toxic behaviour and the children would be given a chance for a safe upbringing. It does not matter Which gender is abusive (at the moment women are being shrugged of because there are still areas of society that don’t see us as equals still) , what it matters is that one parent can get away with abuse precisely because of these gender biases for both men and women. Please also take into consideration that my ex partner who is even now attempting to further abuse me is using precisely your arguments to dismiss me and deny the reality And render me speechless so he can inflict further damage. It is the hidden nature of this abuse that is also very dangerous. But even in cases where a pattern of Lying, threatening and financial punishment is being used it is not taken seriously and that is the issue debated in this article. I am not on the side of the motherS or the fatherS. I am on the side of the parent who is being abused. And I feel this article expressed exactly that.
I also found the comments familiarly biased but the recommendations of reform are surprisingly fair which is very rare. Both parties eligible for legal aid until the allegations are dealt with by a body of expert criminal investigators is the only way to end this perpetually intractable vicious circle of lies and deceit. I have seen magistrates ignore LA’s recommendations to look deeper into the allegations. Regardless of who is the perpetrator and who is the victim, which party is being deceitful, the liar and bully is getting away with their criminal behaviour by doing this.
I once read a comment in a thread by a fellow traumatised father that as DV is a crime, regardless of its delivery, should be treated as exactly what it is. A criminal offence, in a criminal court. Let’s get to the truth shall we? Rather than make life changing decisions for children with judgements based on formed opinions and that one is “probably” right due to his or her experience in dealing with such matters. Anyone can do that. No qualifications or expertise needed to judge someone based on your own views and experiences.
When personnel are educated about terrorism in the armed forces, one of the questions posed to the pupils is “what does a terrorist look like?” with the intention of highlighting the importance of being vigilant and not to make judgements based on your own views and assumptions. This I believe being a humongous issue in Family Courts. I find the front line element, the police and Cafcass to be much fairer. I wish I could say the same for the legal side. An arena where someone can be treated as a criminal with no requirement for proof. Thus ringing an alarm bell that maybe the police and Cafcass should be involved in ALL allegations of DV because of their skills and training in being much more vigilant and less opinionated in their investigations.
I have seen a DJ try to use the love a parent has for a child to provoke a response as an investigative tool to prove the alleged perpetrators aggressive and abusive ways. This is an utterly flawed tactic. Again. Anyone can do this. It is quite easy to get an angry response from someone just by being rude or snatching their biro. Not the actions of a trained professional. No disrespect. I respect the judge in question and his judgements. Just not his investigative skills. I fail to see how one can see the whole picture without asking any questions to one or both parties.
Cross examinations will be avoided by the liar if we continue to tip toe around hurting the feelings of adults or triggering past traumatic events of abuse or harm when the lives and futures of children are at stake. If someone can explain the logic behind how that is in any way the best interest of the child I would love to know. Why do we put the emotional state of a particular adult of a relationship before the future safety and welfare of children? I don’t think this happens in a criminal court, in police interviews and most certainly not Cafcass.
Totally agree with this. There are some viscous women out their
Thank you Charlotte, an excellent article! However it doesnot address a signifcant issue within the CP process – namely that of social workers/managers who deliberately write partisan section 7/47/37 reports, and who are prepared to manipulate, and lie in their reports and verbal testimonies in order to get a result from a judge which they have deemd to be the requisite one – even denigrating police reports and involvement to do so.
This is a major endemic and entrenched problem which is not being addressed at any level. Not only is there no culpability but there appears to be a blanket denial that this even takes place even when parents have evidence to the contrary, as if the dismissal of its existence somehow removes the problem.
What that denial is doing, in point of fact, is leading to criminal injustices in the family courts on a daily basis as well as the wrong outcomes for children. Judges can only make decisions based on evidence put before them. All too often that mean an overreliance on the ‘evidence’ a social worker from an LA presents to a court, even in private family law cases, once abuse has been alleged.
And it can be nigh on impossible for any parent to prove a social worker has lied or otherwise eschewed the actual true facts of a case. The only way we proved the deceit and manipulation by our LA CS dept social work team was by cross referencing and examining with a fine toothcomb absolutley everything we gained via data protection requests from police, GP, and school records against the social work records in multiple data protection requests, looking for divergences, ommissions and contradictions and outright lies. How many parents have the time, energy, even education and intelligence necessary to do this?
They don’t. So they are resorting to recording interactions with social workers, only to be accused of tampering with the recordings or even God forbid, accused of perpetrating abuse of their children if they are included in a recording. So again – all stacked against a parent and, in favour of the social worker.
Until it is made mandatory for all social workers to wear activated body cams in all interactions with children, families, and foster carers, then the truth of a social workers report cannot be relied on in FC.
Despite initial opposition, body cams have turned around policing. Now is the time to do the same for child protection within social work. Until the FC playing field is levelled in this way then the judicary will continue to be making judgements on childrens’ lives and futures based on biased and misleading social work reports and testimony.
Information is key to justice. We need to take the handcuffs of the judiciary by seeing to it that they are presented with evidence which is not only verifiably past the balance of probabilities but also beyond reasonable doubt. Information and evidence which in itself is fully transparent and fully auditable back to source.
We are wanting the judiciary to be given new information about DV, to better educate their awareness in the hope that that positively informs their decision making. Yet no matter how well informed a judge may be on such matters, they still, in their decision making, have to rely on the ‘evidence’ put before them in court.
Here we come full circle again. Moving forward we have to be assured that the integrity of evidence presented by social workers is beyond doubt and is fully supported by third party source evidence and is not just a social worker’s ‘considered’ opinion. ‘Considered’ opinions in the FC should be reserved for expert witnesses such as doctors and police officers etc. Social workers are not experts in child or adult psychiatry, or in medicine, or in policing. Social workers are information gatherers, no less, no more. If they do not know their place in the CP process, they need to be not only reminded, but, put in it, in order that they do not, in practice, in future, continue to impede justice.
I am surprised and slightly disappointed that the Transparency Project is providing a platform to such an extreme and unrepresentative viewpoint. Charlotte Proudman is entitled to her view, though she should at least provide evidence for some of her wilder claims, but it does not enhance the credibility of the TP to promote them. I hope that the “other posts on this topic” will provide some balance, though I don’t believe that publishing such extreme views on either side of the issue actually contributes much to the debate or aids understanding, nor do I particularly relish reading the rants of some oafish misogynist which would be the only thing to offer any real balance to Proudman’s offering.
@NickLangford Do I understand you correctly?
“nor do I particularly relish reading the rants of some oafish misogynist which would be the only thing to offer any real balance to Proudman’s offering.”
You think the “rants of some oafish misogynist’ “would be the only thing to offer any real balance to Proudman’s offering”?
Really? That would offer a real balance?
Yikes. If that’s the only ‘real balance’ that could be offered to Ms Proudman finding, then in reality it appears that there is no credibile alternative ‘balanced viewpoint’ worthy of consideration. Unless you yourself can present one.
@DrCharlotteProudman and @seethroujustice
Continue to be at the forefront of the vanguard, leading by example. Rock on TP! Sadly you will always be battling against those who know that they are misogynist, but also against those who don’t know that they are. C’est la vie huh? The genie is out of the bottle and there is no putting it back. Onward and upward! We don’t need to phaff around burning bras, we just get on and get the job done despite the discomfort of the bras, stiletto heels and breastfeeding.
One doesn’t need to be an oaf to be a misogynist. One could be an actual professor or paid up member of any profession including the legal and judiciary, not to mention the butchers, bakers and candlestick makers………
Nick Langford, extreme and unpresedented viewpoint. What experience have you to share, do you condone domestic abuse if you wish to sweep it all under the carpet, allow children to be abused. Not every father is decent and loves there children. I find your comment a disgrace with total lack of any understanding. If you or your family went through the process you would know.
Some people are full of opinions, quoting as extreme and unpresedented viewpoints. Until you have been abused and then you see your precious child being abused by that same person, you cannot really make a comment as you have no idea what a victim has gone through, from the perpetrator to the court INJUSTICE system and nor will you EVER know the pain and fear.
By the way Nick, it looks like we might have forgotten to mark that we had slightly edited your comment for legal reasons. Sorry about that. We usually mark and comment whenever we do so.
Lucy
Oh dear, I might be confusing your comment with someone else’s….Lucy
BTW Ms Proudman’s viewpoint represents our personal and consistent experience gained during 16 FC hearings before 13 dfferent judges/recorders. How do you suggest real hard irrefutable evidence to support Ms Proudman’s experiences in the family court be gained and aired publically whilst all participants are gagged by the FC ‘privacy’ law?
For, fer shure, I, as a very credible participant in such proceedings am not allowed to share with Ms Proudman, or you, or any journalists, ANY specific details which could provide irrefutable evidence to support the claims which Ms Proudman and others make.
So, hands tied, handcuffed. Do YOU have a magic key to open this legal conundrum, ‘cos if you do, kindly toss it over here, so I can utilise it and be free of this court enforced anonymity which is worthy of any fascist state, and which brings shame on the British judical system. It’s no more than an excuse to absolve social workers and the entire CP and Court of Protection systems from accountability and culpability. It silences the weakest and most vulnerable in our society, and hence deprives them of true and transparent justice.
A law which protected men of repute from the shame of having the details of their immoral clandestine relationships and existence of illegitimate children plastered across the broadsheets is no longer applicable or relevent to everyday UK child protection proceedings and should be relegated to the dustbin of antiquity alongside all the other archaic laws of yesteryear.
Because quite frankly gentlemen, you need to stop visiting the sins of the fathers onto the children just to save yourself from the stocks of public humilation. Rest assured in reality no-one give a damn about your pecadillos and inapropriate shennanigans. At best, it’s a 5 minute wonder or 15 minute burst of fame. Get over it or go and self flagellate instead. Either way its long past time to stop punishing the children for your failings, whilst simoultaneously deflecting blame onto the mothers. Grow up and grow a pair.
If nothing else the claims made here only add further weight to the need for transparency in the Family Courts, so we can assess if incidents like these are rarities or business as usual. Without transparency there is no way to know. Certainly from my experience, DV and DA by my partner and her severe EA of our children was completely ignored by the family courts and social services – though thankfully not by the police, who seem to be the most well trained and realistic on child protection and DV. So I can fully believe what the author reports as happening – to fathers as well as to mothers. I’m concerned that we keep this enquiry free of gender prejudice and not get into all fathers are beasts and all mothers are saints, or the other way round. Any parents using the family court are certain to be in a high state of mutual conflict. Extracting the interests of the children from the competing allegations of parents, both of whom are usually very upset, not least because they will both be concerned for what they believe is their children’s best interests, takes patience and wisdom, and concern that must also be balanced with healthy realism.
Misogyny is rife in uk, just look at porn and rape prosecution rates. Family courts are run on misogyny
This article is absolutely spot on – I’m about to be dragged through the courts for a third time and have no confidence that CAFCASS or judges will take any notice of the dv and da which my ex subjected me to and continues to do so. The comments above about social worker reports are unfortunately also true – I cannot see how one could argue against interviews with social workers being recorded, but it would certainly stop them lying to achieve the court outcome they favour. I work with children and I am appalled at the callous disregard for child welfare, particularly in an atmosphere of emotional abuse by social workers, cafcass and judges despite exposure of children to emotional abuse being heavily proven to be extremely damaging.
Furthermore I cannot imagine for a second, a criminal court ordering a victim of a violent crime to regularly come face to face with her/his attacker, week after week. Yet CAFCASS routinely recommend this at contact handover, and judges feel compelled to take their advice. No thought is given to the impact on the child of witnessing it, and no consideration given whatsoever of the damaging consequences to the victim. In all this, the courts and all involved completely ignore the impact of this continued abuse on the victim’s ability to parent and support the child!
Lastly, although domestic violence experts and studies give clear evidence that perpetrators of violence and abuse are extremely unlikely to stop abusing unless they a) admit to the abuse b) take full responsibility for their actions and c) engage in a perpetrator programme, the assumption by CAFCASS, social workers and therefore judges is that there is no future risk of da/dv to the child or the victim.
Whilst this article and many others, as well as the comprehensive report by Women’s Aid all highlight the deep, ingrained problems with the way family courts deal with da cases, the current MOJ investigation and bill going through parliament do not even scratch the surface in terms of understanding the problem and finding effective solutions.
Male v. female … the ONS has data from a survey of 34k households CSEW (YE Mar 2018) that of the 1.4m victims of PARTNER abuse in the year 30% victims are men and 70% female…. 53% / 48% of the abuse is threats or force … of the male victims 44% 199k are being hit; female 27% 278k … this suggests that a male victim is 65% (44% divided by 27%) more likely to be hit than a female.
The main problem with DA is that it is time consuming and difficult to establish who is abusing who: a perpetrator has a dishonest cruel psychology and an incentive to lie; a casual observer really does not know what is going on.
The legal process harms both parties in any event and if directed against the wrong party amplifies the abuse.
I am currently on the receiving end of a false domestic abuse allegation which is being used to bolster my ex wife’s wishes for an increase in contact with the children for which I assume she received taxpayers money. The whole systems needs to be overhauled, nobody’s interest is being served by the current system other than those employed by it. I have presented clear evidence to the court that her allegations are false however I am still not allowed contact with my children which has been the case for 4 months and now told that it will be a further 3 months until the next hearing as the case was assigned to the wrong social services team despite the process already having been started. It is frustrating and heartbreaking and the whole system with all good intentions is failing an at risk group, namely men. In the average week in the UK one child will be killed by a parent or step parent (no information on how many of these are killed by women), in the same period 93 men will have committed suicide. Source is Samaritans and NSPCC
While it is an awful process for genuine victims of domestic violence I do feel the article is one-sided. It is very common for a man to be accused of dv as soon as he applies to court for an order to see his children, when it has never been accused before. It has happened to me. Firstly I was never married to or even lived with the Mother – we dated for six weeks during which time she dumped me twice – but the result was my son. We amicably co-parented from birth and the child had two homes from birth. It was only amicable if I did everything I was told under threat of never seeing my son again. She stopped contact regularly if I said no I couldn’t give her a lift somewhere for example. But things settled down. We both had new partners. After 8 years of co-parenting I was accused, out of the blue of a horrible crime. And had to go to court for an order. It was a game and it played the court process – Mother claims Father is controlling and abusive – and everybody believed it! They didn’t even look at the history. One Cafcass officer actually said she wasn’t interested in the history. The Mother was believed, without any evidence whatsoever at first hearing. The Cafcass safeguarding letter quoted what she said as fact. Once in front of a Judge with evidence, all allegations were dismissed. But she continues to make them – because she wants to move on and have a “normal” family with her husband. And erase me. This is a very common experience for perfectly decent Fathers.
So while domestic abuse is heinous. The family courts enable lying, false allegations and alienation of children (mental abuse).
Just to add. I cannot believe anyone would accuse parental alienation if it wasn’t happening. If you have lived through seeing your child virtually lobotomised and in fear, and being told you have done bad things that aren’t true and being told you are not his real Father – and seen that child’s stress and mental confusion to the point of almost being suicidal – you would not say parental alienation is just something accused by violent Fathers. It is true that an alienator often accuses the other parent of alienation, whether they are male or female. But parental alienation absolutely is a crime against a child by a parent.
I find that very generalised statement that 75% or so of men in family courts are abusers who falsely claim alienation – is extremely biased. We should not let our realities be clouded by the emotion of abuse sufferers. Sadly for genuine abuse sufferers there are also women out there who are selfish and abusive also.
I have been dragged through the Family Courts by an abusive ex husband who used Cafcass. The Cafcass officer took umbrage towards me from the moment she clapped eyes on me. Her reports became increasingly vitriolic and frightening. She decided from the outset what she wanted me to be and was hell bent on making her reality into mine. It was terrifying. The FCA ignored the children and lied about what they’d said and her meeting with them. This was evidenced through appropriate channels. Evidence of my ex husband’s lies were ignored by her.
There was no fact-finding hearing and the FCA was allowed to write as she chose, despite what she wrote going against every other authority involved with the family. My experience of Cafcass is terrible. I was being gaslighted from the start, my reality and the reality of those looking after me and the children twisted into something else. All in secret, at my expense by a public official as part of the abuse by my ex.
Ultimately I was lucky in that the judge sent the FCA home and ignored the Section 7 report in its entirety. The judge turned down her insistence that I be further investigated for no reason. My only hope is that having been sent home from the court, Cafcass may have seen the light and sent her home for good.
Instead of working in the best interests of the children, my experience of the Family Court is that they serve Cafcass and it is only luck, not evidence that can save you.My children would have been in very real danger had the FCA had her way.
You say research is out there. But how many have researched where fathers maintaining the mother is the abuser, or that they are being falsely accused, or that they were the prime carer and mother has
FASO are on the front line of those who need support because of false allegations of sex abuse or child protection issues – in both the private and public law.
FASO have raw data from conversation and emails we have, but no-one is interested in it. Included is the mothers that claim false allegations agaisnt them. We deal with all people no matter their gender or ethnicity.
Where is the data from FNF, and mens domestic violence support groups? They are in existence.
Thank you Dr Proudman for articulating the problems that I believe exist in the Family courts, especially the dismissal of events more than a few months old and lack of understanding of the lasting impact of controlling behaviour. Themis has mentioned social worker reports that are inaccurate and distorted, and I would add that Cafcass have too much authority in the court even when they have written a biased and dishonest report. It seems that no one regulates them and Judges see Cafcass as professionals regardless of serious problems with their impartiality and accuracy. The Cafcass complaints service operates on denial, and it seems some Judges see Cafcass as separate and therefore any mistakes by them are not relevant to the case (if there is no final hearing).